This month’s issue of Psychology Today has a great article, “Move On!” , encouraging us all to do just that. If you’re thinking of escaping but second guessing yourself like crazy, this is the article for you. An excerpt:
“Some people plod away in dreary jobs and dead relationships, while others are forever cutting people off and finding new careers. If you fall into one of these two extreme categories, your tendency could be a default.
At one end of the emotional spectrum are those with high need for closure. People with this mindset want definite answers. They would rather be fired or broken up with than linger on in ambiguity. These types prefer order and predictability in the world and tend to be decisive. If you suspect you fit the bill, you may be cutting yourself off from the rewards that come from waiting to see how situations unfold. Your anxiety is driving you to force resolutions—but though you may feel better temporarily, you may also miss out on better opportunities in the long run.
But those with a habit of avoiding denouements altogether are also cutting themselves off from potentially fulfilling alternatives. “Sometimes people don’t end things because they are lazy or have a low tolerance for frustration,” says Lubetkin.
Opposed though they are, the inclinations to quit prematurely or to prolong the inevitable share a core feature, says Hayes: “Each distracts you from confronting deeper motivations, such as fear of failure or of intimacy. Either way, you are not being mindful of your true feelings.”